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Photo by Tamara Bellis on Unsplash

The Trials of the Skinny Jean

Today I achieved one of my long-term goals: finding a shop that still sells bootcut jeans. It’s taken months of searching, both online and in person, but I finally did it.

I was always a fan of the bootcut. If, like me, nature saw fit to endow you with broad hips and chunky thighs, then the bootcut is by far the most flattering option as far as jeans go. They help to balance out a pear-shaped figure, but in recent years they have become increasingly hard to find. Most shops only sell skinny jeans, because who doesn’t want the shape of their entire lower half to be plainly visible to everyone? Well me, actually. Part of the reason I love dresses and skirts so much is that they hide the outline of my thighs, rather than drawing attention to them.

So many times I have searched for a decent pair of bootcut jeans, only to find that the only available options are skinny, super-skinny, spray-on, and so-tight-you-will-get-an-immediate-yeast-infection. That’s another problem with skinny jeans. They’re so bloody tight. Sitting down in a pair of skinny jeans can be like sitting on a cheese wire. It’s maddening. I cannot be the only woman to suffer from seam placement while wearing these things, and yet no one ever talks about it.

Another disadvantage of overly clingy jeans is that they rip easily. Most of mine last a few months before spontaneously splitting. Just a few days ago I had a pair rip on the right inner thigh, when all I did was sit cross-legged on the floor. I wouldn’t mind so much if I’d had them ages, but they can’t have been more than six months old.

So where did I find these elusive jeans? M&S, that’s where. A shop commonly associated with old people. A few years ago I’d have scoffed at the idea of buying clothes there, but that was before I stopped caring about such trivial things as clothing brands. I’m 28 now, I don’t have time for that shit. If M&S have the thing I want that I can’t get anywhere else, then so be it.

Trying to find clothes that suit your body and fit nicely without being uncomfortable can be tricky. It shouldn’t be, but it is. After four years of wearing a style of jeans I never actually liked, I am finally going back to bootcut. They may not be in vogue anymore, but they suit me and I like them. Given the choice between a pair of bootcuts from M&S that flatter my figure, and a pair of skinnies from New Look that will cut off my circulation until they inevitably rip, I know which one I’d rather have.

17th December 2018

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