Every so often, in among all the inconsequential noise and inane babble of everyday life, someone will say something so profoundly impactful that it will alter you as a person. Something that changes your outlook on life, that you will henceforth carry around within yourself like a treasured trinket. These pearls of wisdom are often uttered in times of hardship and trauma. In my case, all five were said to me in the aftermath of breakups. It stands to reason, these being periods of reflection and re-evaluation, when questions are pondered and answers sought. They have proved invaluable to me in the years since, and I hope that in sharing them, they can be useful to other people too.
5) ‘The strong part was you.’
This was said to me by my good friend, Jess, back in my second year of university. My relationship of almost four years had come to a horribly messy end and I was left reeling. I professed my confusion during one of our many phone conversations, saying, ‘I thought we had such a strong relationship.’ With no hesitation at all, Jess replied, ‘That’s because the strong part was you.’ That was the moment I realised that our perception of our relationships is inherently dependent on our personalities. Me being as determined and as self-assured as I was, I had wrongfully assumed our relationship was rock-solid. I was perfectly secure, but we were not, and I had failed to see it. It was not the last time I would prove to be the stronger component in a relationship with fundamental weaknesses, but it was the last time I would be completely blind to the fact.
4) ‘There will always be someone else.’
Also in the aftermath of the aforementioned breakup, my best friend, Jodie, came out with this gem. Faced with the loss of my first longterm relationship, and knowing that my ex had his next partner lined up and ready to go, I expressed my fears that it would be years before anyone showed any interest in me again. To which Jodie replied, ‘Don’t be ridiculous, have you met you?’ She then assured me that there would be someone else, and if that didn’t work out then there would be someone else after that, and someone else after that. As much as I did not relish the idea of multiple future someone elses, it was immensely comforting to be told that I had options, and that those options were…
